There are three things that I thought I should have together at the ripe age of 21; being in love, graduating with a bachelors degree, and having a great job lined up. Well, all three of those statements slapped me in the face all at once, because its not happening anytime soon. Today... is the day I realized that's not what it's about and that's why today is going to be my first post.
This past year my mother has been trying to get me to blog to open my world up, to find out what I'm intrigued most by. Every time she said I should blog I brushed it of and said I had plenty of better things to do. Actually, it's not that I had better things to do, I just had too much to do. So, while I take a break from studying for a Political Science exam I have on Friday I thought, "maybe I will write a post since today I nearly had a hysterical break down." Yeah, I did have somewhat of a break down...
Ever since I returned home after my freshman year of college my life has been one big gust of wind that has knocked me on my ass repeatedly. I have changed majors three or four times, have had three different jobs, and have not successfully made new friends at the college I go to. All of this has been weighing me down and I'm finally realizing that I have a long time to go before I have to have it all figured out. So, right now I need to take all opportunities I'm given and use them to find the path I'm to follow up the mountain I'm climbing.
My mom always tells me she is almost fifty and still doesn't have it figured out. Normally I mumble under my breath and say, "good for you", but no longer. I'm going to take this cyber world by the keys and see if it can help me figure out what it is I want to be doing. I have always been into the arts, I create jewelry, draw a little, paint a little, work with stained glass a little, and will be starting my first acting class at the end of April (super excited about that). I should also add that I do a little baking. I'm hoping that by updating at least once a week it will help me get out what is really going on in my head and it will help me get to where I need to be.
I have a long road ahead of me, but today during my little breakdown when I was feeling disappointed with myself I knew that I can't continue to feel disappointed, I need to feel confident. So I guess as I end this first post I will do it with a little song lyric by Lucy Schwartz...
A bit early but i like it that way
You start looking and it falls into place
So here I am
Slow down we keep moving too fast
Live now before the moment has past you by"
-Gabrielle
I'm glad that you finally realize that some things take longer to come about than you would like them to. First, take a look at the picture you posted. What a drastic change from a few months ago. Happy,smiling and even more beautiful. Since your freshman year you have matured and become quite the young lady. You are still exploring your options and that is not something to take lightly. A lot of young people,and older also, make rash and quick decisions and have to live with them forever. You are making a foundation for your future and have accomplished quite a lot with all of the avenues you have been down. Don't forget the published poems,the stained glass,cooking and photography for a few. Love will come along as will the college degree and that elusive great job. T.J. thought he had no friends,remember the two hour waiting line. Your friends are there and many of them.Besides, you have me and Nana.
ReplyDeleteHaving it all figured out is over rated anyway. Takes all the adventure out of life. I'm 42 and still happily "flying by the seat of my pants" Life's a journey. Enjoy the ride. :)
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